Thursday, April 17, 2008

I’d love to, but I’m having my eyes gouged out that day

Chatty Cathy’s responsibilities include giving presentations to parts of the company. His first one ever is coming up in a few months and so he’s asked the department…actually he’s asked MB to ask the department…to attending a dry run. As I assume this is not so much an invitation as an expectation I’m trying to look on the bright side.

Things I am looking forward to:

  1. Whiplash from the involuntary ticks I develop listening to him rape the English language.
  2. A nice nap.
  3. The betting pool about whether the too big pants he has yet to replace after his recent weight loss (I don’t know if you’re the last person on Earth who has heard, but he’s lost weight) will fall down or ride up high enough to cover his face.
  4. New anecdotes about his recent weight loss.
  5. New anecdotes about the ‘little Asian girl’ he used to work with.
  6. New ancedotes about how many more calories he's allowed to eat now that he's really into his work out and why this makes him qualified to run a hockey team/baseball team/small country.
  7. Burning a sick day instead of going.