Thursday, March 06, 2008

Dear New Office Chatty Cathy:

As an old guy at the office I think I should show you the ropes. The ones I'd like to tie you to your chair and leave you in the elevator with. For your own safety, please take note of the following:

1. Recently losing 16lbs does not qualify you as a cardiologist; nutritionist or my mother. Please stop commenting on what I eat and why it is wrong.

2. If I ask you a question that requires a yes or no answer, please answer yes or no. Do not proceed to verbally vomit everything you know about anything.

3. Stop referring to everyone with tits as girls.

4. If you ever hide my keys again, in an effort to 'teach me a lesson' about leaving things on my desk, I will break every bone in your hand.

I hope this list helps you settle in.



Cheryl said...

It is good to have you back, my dear. Long live the hate!

chrysalis said...

Thanks, I've missed the simmering loathing.